Doctoral learners must transform in many aspects to adapt to the expectations of and develop a scholarly identity.

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Doctoral learners must transform in many aspects to adapt to the expectations of and develop a scholarly identity. As a doctoral student, I have found that finding the appropriate direction, devising a plan, and transitioning my former way of thinking into an independent multi-skilled mindset, has been several of the many components, that are needed to formulate my doctoral identity, and to meet doctoral expectations. These adjustments are not developing instanteously. However, through a daily process, my interactions, knowledge , and skills are transitioning, or rather emerging to meet the doctoral expectations.    Internalizing the role of a researcher, is intriguing. I am gaining knowledge daily on the need to independently solicit information from peer-reviewed articles. Additionally, books and other appropriate materials can assist my research, along with reading dissertations, to promote growth, in my expansion of knowledge towards conducting successful research. Importantly, \” Taking on the role of a researcher requires doctoral learners to adopt skillsets that will move them away being dependent learners and towards becoming independent, proactive scholars\” (Bridges et al., 2020).     Developing a professional research identity is requiring me to encounter dedication to proper time management skills, preparation, determination, and proper execution of accessible resources. In addition, I have developed an innate drive of a yearning to investigate to become aware of the unknown as it relates to my topic. I am reading , searching, and curiously seeking wisdom daily to continue  to develop my professional research identity.

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My daughter has always wanted to be a writer, specifically a poet. Of course, as career choices go, that is not necessarily the most reliable. I told her to be a writer, you must write. An individual does not decide they want to be a writer and then wait around waiting to be published before they begin the writing. Instead, they write. They write every day, and they seek feedback and then they write again. That conversation was many years ago, but it appears I must now follow my own advice. It is always much easier to give advice than to follow it. To be a professional writer, scholar and researcher I must write and research, seek feedback, discuss, network and write and research some more.The easiest part of the of the program for me is completing expectations in a timely fashion. To some extent, I look forward to the daily challenges that await when I log in to class. What is the discussion board discussing? What treasure of an article will my research uncover today? However, my insecurities are high. I constantly ask if I answered the right question or did I provide the right evidence? Always feeling like maybe I missed something. One of the benefits of being a seasoned educator entering this program is that I know only practice and trial and error will build the confidence I need to feel like this is my new identify. I will only achieve the necessary practice by completing the activities prescribed for me and following the rule I gave my daughter many years ago: write and research every day.

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It has been definitely an eye opener for me. I am grateful for the feedback that my instructor gave me on the Emergent Writer Worksheet. I can see what areas I need to improve on. For instance, patterns are identified but cannot be substantiated by the readings. Themes are identified but cannot be proven to emerge from the identified patters. Moving forward, I need to make sure that what I write needs to be substantiated. I need to make sure my research has more form and to make sure it is established by proof or competent evidence. I need to focus more on evidence-based practice. This form of practice is used to bridge the gap between research and practice (Silverstein & Auerbach, 2009). Another area I need to improve on is, thesis and/or main claim are insufficiently developed and/or vague; purpose is not clear. From this, I need to work on being more detailed in my writing abilities. Poor writing skills are a particular concern given that writing is directly linked with academic progress (Leydon, Wilson, & Boyd, 2014).After completing this worksheet and receiving feedback from my instructor helps me to see more clearly how important critical thinking is, and how detrimental it can be if I do not apply it. As I progress forward, I need to think outside of the box more, by doing so will prevent me from becoming narrow minded, and it will also help to be assess my and develop more of a learning style, but I believe most importantly, it will hold me accountable by allowing me to take ownership of what I produce. The way critical thinking has become a major part of the synthesis process for me is to think, think, think, and re-think. I am seeing that the strength in how I write will determine how strong of a researcher I will become.

While I am still unsure how well my synthesis paper will be received, the process itself was educational. Immediately following completion of the worksheet, I set to using the outline to complete a rough draft of my paper while the information was fresh in my mind. I then set it aside to reflect. Much of my reflection centered on the uncertainty I was feeling over whether or not my ideas were clearly reflections of the articles. After receiving feedback on my worksheet, mainly to insure that I was formulating new ideas and not just reiterating the writing, I began to revise my draft with my updated understanding. Do to my own insecurities, I then revised it three more times.The most important take away from this project is how to be a critical thinker. Instructor feedback and class readings have lead me to the following revelation: when I am reading articles, I am not just trying to understand what is on the page, I am also asking what is missing or what is not explained here? Answering those questions is what makes me a critical thinker and allows me to synthesize rather than summarize. After concluding this week’s reading, I have discovered, however, that my synthesis is not as original as I had hoped. Within this week’s reading by Inouye and McAlpine (2019), was a descriptive statement of almost the identical concept to that of my thesis statement in my synthesis paper. “Through this process, they construct an academic identity that is reflected in the research contribution they wish to make, the people they cite, and the methodologies and theoretical approaches with which they align” (Castello, Inesta, & Corcelles, 2013; Filipovic & Jovanic, 2016; Guerin, 2013 as cited in Inouye & McAlpine, 2019, p. 2). Rather than be dismayed by my lack of originality, I will choose to be optimistic that this is a sign that great minds think alike.